So then, Muffin, Cross-Dressin’ Bear o’Mystery just be mindin’ his own business an’ was walking quite innocently in the field near the giant chickens, when…
Disaster struck –
In th’furry form o’ a bearded monkey!
Muffin, Cross-Dressin’ Bear o’Mystery was certain-sure he was done for an’ that th’malformed monkey would be havin’ him for mince-meat, when…
A Piratical Parrot swooped down an’ tore him from th’clutches o’ th’primal primate.
Th’Piratical Parrot flew off with Muffin, Cross-Dressin’ Bear o’Mystery’s, ears held painfully tight in his beak an’ came t’light on a perch in ‘The Skull & Crossbones Pub’ (Strong Ales & Loose Women)…
Muffin, Cross-Dressin’ Bear o’Mystery, bit th’Piratical Parrot viciously on one gnarly toe an’ he was FREE!
Only t’fall into th’Horrid Hands o’ th’Black Hands o’Horror – Pirates.
They made Muffin, Cross-Dressin’ Bear o’Mystery, swear an Allegiance t’their Bawdy Band o’Brothers…
but they keelhauled ‘em anyway – because they could…
Just as Muffin, Cross-Dressin’ Bear o’Mystery, was breathin’ in his last breath, he was SAVED…by another monkey with an eye patch.
Still, Th’Horrid Hands o’Horror made Muffin, Cross-Dressin’ Bear o’Mystery, work very hard. They made him clean th’cannon…
without tellin’ him…
Proper Safety Procedures…
The Horrid Hands o’Horror made him take watch in th’Crow’s Nest…in th’dark..in th’night…
But it was so windy that he blew off
th’ship
He fell into the ocean but managed t’just…barely…reach a floating leathern tankard
which Muffin, Cross-Dressin’ Bear o’Mystery, promptly clambered into – thus savin’ his Life, but
He had no food or water an’ was nearly perishin’ o’thirst an’ hunger an’ it seemed All Was Lost an’ th’Piratical Version o’Death was goin’ t’take him t’Muffin Hell…
when a katana came down into th’water (narrowly missin’ takin’ off an’ ear) an’ picked him up t’safety – good thing Muffin, Cross-Dressin’ Bear o’Mystery was already neuthered at th’vet…
Muffin, Cross-Dressin’ Bear o’Mystery’s Plight touched th’Cold, Dark Heart o’ Th’Ship’s Captain, who fed an’ watered him an’ taught him t’fight a fine piratical way…
After many happy years together bein’ th’Scourge o’ th’Seven Seas, Muffin an’ Th’ Cap’n parted ways (Muffin, Cross-Dressin’ Bear o’Mystery, got Her Autograph though)
An’ Muffin, Cross-Dressin’ Bear o’Mystery, opened a convenience pub in Th’Florida Keys with his Pirate Wench Wife an’ lived a long life liberatin’ landlubbers o’ their loot.
Th’End
Th’ Katana might’n ‘av missed his ear, but it appears to ‘av connected with far more important tackle…
Anyway… I’ve just added my effort at Club Lefty! in honor of talk like a pirate day. Hope you enjoy!
So that’s where I left my daikatana …
And all’s well when it ends well! Arrr! Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day! *arrs again* xD
One unflappable Bear o’Mystery! If Hell it will be, Let’s be hopin’ it’s Muffin Hell.
A Hearty Talk Like a Pirate Day t’Ye, Fine Cap’n! Starr Ann an’ Me Self searched deep into Th’Night for what t’Give Th’Lesbian Pirate Queen who has it all.
Finally, we remembered Yer fondness for apostrophes. So we gathered this fresh bouquet early this morning
”””””””””””””’
”””””””””””””””
””””””’
”” ”’
””””””””””””””””””””””””””
Use ‘em in All Good Happiness!
Arrr, I be sendin’ ya greetin’s from me grand ship Yikes, Cap’n.
BAC
here’s to you, sugar! and all who sail with ye!
YAY for MUFFIN!!! I love Muffin.
Happy LTCD day, though you can’t link to yerself. xoxoxo
A rousin’ good yarn, if ever there be one!
Yar, Evil Spock posted a pirate haiku for today in me twitter.
Btw, have you seen this site?
http://tbdoa.blogspot.com/
Arrrgh, Me Cap’n – yer Navigator has commandered th’ good ship MPS to piratical ways fer th’ day.
Pass me a bit o’ the rum!
Yer ‘Grain
Me daughter be avin’ that thar Bear. She be luvin’ yer tale n’ such.
Merry TLPD!
Arr! Let’s be rememberin’ that it also be drink, smoke an’ swear like a pirate day, too! The malinky sea monkeys an’ I just want to wish ye the happiest of happy’s, Cap’n.
(Muffin’s new adventure is awesome!)
love it, arrrrrrr!
Arrrrrgh, ’tis me wishin’ ye a happy talk like a pirate day, arrrrrrgh.
Yarrrrrrrrr… its me FranIam wish’n ya a hearty ‘n feisty day. Paid proper homage to ya at me blog today dear Cap’n! Bring on the grog!
Very funny. I have not yet had time to learn Pirate Speak. Maybe by next year. I come to you via Blue Gal and Politits. Lovely company.
here’s yer tune
here’s yer lyrics.
The lambs on the green hills, they sport and they play
And many strawberries grow round the salt sea
How sad is my heart when my love is away
How many’s the ships sails the ocean
The bride and the bride’s party to church they did go
The bride she rode foremost, she bears the best show
But I followed after with my heart filled with woe
To see my love wed to another
The first place I saw her was in the church stand
Gold rings on her fingers and her love by the hand
Says I, ma wee lassie, I will be the man
Altho you are wed to another
The next place I saw her was on the way home
I ran on before her, not knowing where to roam
Says I, ma wee lassie, I’ll be by your side
Altho you are wed to another
Stop, stop, says the groomsman, til I speak a word
Will you venture your life on the point of my sword
For courting so slowly you’ve lost this fair maid
So, begone for you’ll never enjoy her
O make now my grave, both large, wide and deep
And sprinkle it over with flowers so sweet
And lay me down in ti to take my last sleep
For that’s the best way to forget her
and me best wishes that ye have fair winds and followin’ seas cap’n darlin’
Aye, me Cap’n…did ye enjoy the Speak Like A Pirate Day? The Keeper fair read then entire Cap’n Blood yet again in ye honor.
An’ a most interestin’ tale o’ Muffin, Cap’n. Arrgh, what that bear do get into. Happy talk like a pirate day, to ye.